Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
