youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
