the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
