Yo dont text me then not text me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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