omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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