can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
