Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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