I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize