Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
