I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
no, he came in my armpit
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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