Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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