you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
