Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
