it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We need to rekindle our bromance
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Boobs speak an international language.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
