At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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