god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
