writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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