butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
