How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Randomize
