if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
