Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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