Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
