Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
