Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
