this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
