sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
