Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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