I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
