Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
false alarm, still single
Randomize
