just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
