is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize