what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
