in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
