I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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