you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
