life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
