FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
