I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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