the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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