you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
