I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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