That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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