discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
