I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
