If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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