goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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