I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
