Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize