dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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