i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
