Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
