Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
