I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
