Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
