shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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