I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
