Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
