I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
