love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
