he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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