sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
