just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
