I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
