For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
